What To Do As Parents?- If your child has School Fear!!!

This is common among kids (6-10yrs. age), feeling scared of going to school and facing school related problems. As they are starting a new phase of their life while adapting in the new environment, situations and trying to adjust in school. Children can face lots of school related problems such as emotional distress, academic pressures, peer pressure and anxiety. All these sufferings can be results of their just care-free attitude and ignored reasons adversely impacting on their academic performances, health and behaviour. This can be stemming from serious causes that should not be ignored.

Parents should not assume this as their ‘drama’, ‘attention seeking’ and ‘laziness’. Else, they will feel misunderstood and intensify their actions. 

What Are These Causes And How To Find Out? 

These can be easily noticed while preparing your child for going to school. Your child may be avoiding academic activities, excusing and rebuffing about a particular teacher or subject repeatedly. Forcing them to simply voice their problems might feel uncomfortable. The causes can be as following stated:

• Separation Anxiety- Feeling scared or anxious around unknown people. Maybe they were afraid of  being left alone. 

• Emotional- They will become clingy, unconfident, throw tantrums and angry or frustrated.

• Facing school related issues-  They may be victims of bullying,pressure of homework, social anxiety and fear of teachers.

• External Factors- After children saw some family distresses like divorce, bereavement and death of some closed one. Other factors can be over-protective parenting and emotional distress due to loss of friends and any favourite teacher etc.

• Physical signs- Constant stomach ache, headache, avoiding gatherings, fatigue, vomiting in morning and mood swings.

• Discipline Issues- Your child may be facing school problems as constantly scolded, called-out and punished because of indiscipline shown by him in class. Teach them universal values that will help them to make friends such as sharing, caring, respect and be honest as well as obedient.

For Parents Some Tackling Tips For Your Child’s Health

As concerned parents one should be patient, empathetic and caring as school stresses your child. Their stress will not be reduced by simply reassurance, talking or forcing them to go to school. Here are some tips you should follow-

• Calmly take early initiative-  It is essential to act as a supporting friend rather than only focusing on their compliance.

• Be Empathetic- You should not be judging, before listening to their issues or feelings. Affirmatively encourage them to go school instead of forcing and being strict.

• Practice at Home- Parents should limit their screen time and play time. In front of them speak politely, be honest and obedient.

• Ensure Physical Health-Try to limit their junk food, night sweets and visit pediatricians for symptoms like stomach ache, headache and sleeping problems.

•  Positive Self-Talk- As a friend, listen and encourage your child to tell you about the whole day at school. Also, if needed, plan meetings with concerned teachers to maintain a safe and healthy environment in school.

• Teaching Coping Skills- Teaching them to take boldly stand for themselves. Do healthy exercises under pressure or stress and while feeling anxious like slow-breathing, meditation and effectively communicating etc.

• Extra Help Needed- You can take assessment sessions if confused to go for therapy sessions directly from our expert child-therapists.

This can be a little difficult for parents to figure out everything perfectly. You can journal any noticeable behaviour and changes in your child's anxiety for ensuring health and safety. Sometimes due to both parents working, not having enough time and patience then you can go for consultation from our child-care clinic.

Therapy Modes (Online or Offline) Available - Children with School Fear 

At Lyfsmile, we offer clinically guided, child-centred therapy services to help children manage school fear, emotional distress and anxiety-related challenges. Our evidence-based interventions are delivered by trained child psychologists and therapists, focusing on emotional regulation, confidence-building, and healthy school adjustment.

Offline (In-Clinic Therapy):
In-person sessions at our centres provide a structured and supportive environment where children can engage directly with therapists. This approach is helpful for building trust, practising social skills, and working through school-related fears with guided support.

Online Therapy:
Secure online sessions offer flexible and convenient access to therapy from home. This option is ideal for children who feel anxious about clinic visits or for families seeking consistent support without travel.

Both therapy options ensure accessible and continuous mental health care tailored to each and every child’s needs.

Parents Feeling Confused For Taking Therapy?- Take An Assessment

If your child is not able to express properly and you feel that he/she might be hiding something, it can be difficult for parents to understand what is really going on. Understanding and facing certain problems in a positive manner may feel impossible for the child, which often leaves parents feeling confused and unsure about the next step.

In such situations, it is advisable to consult a professional and begin with a school anxiety and behaviour assessment. Ignoring these early signs may later affect a child’s ability to build relationships, handle pressure, and cope emotionally.

Assessment options available at ₹500 in both online and offline modes include:

• Lyfsmile offers online assessment support for concerns such as school stress, low mood, separation anxiety, relationship difficulties, grief, and low self-esteem.

• The platform allows parents to schedule assessment sessions with licensed professionals from India.

• Specialized assessment services are designed to understand emotional distress, social challenges, and developmental concerns in children and adolescents.

• The platform also provides tools like free self-assessment tests to help parents gain insights into their child’s behaviour and development.

Starting with an assessment would help parents gain clarity and understanding about their child’s emotional and behavioural needs. It allows parents to make sound decisions with confidence, without rushing or guessing, and ensures the right support is chosen at the right time.

Conclusion

School plays a vital role in a child’s holistic development by socialising, exposing and fostering creativity as well as sensitivity in them. School fear is common and temporary for many children. With love,patience and consistent support as parents help your child to overcome their fear of school, emotional distress, issues related to school and anxiety. If they are scared to go out and engage in group activities then you should immediately consult a doctor or therapist. Not to compare with other children by saying statements like”see other children go to school happily” and scare them by remarks such as “everyone will ask about in class or i will call your class-teacher” etc. Try to ask them reasons and be firm but lovingly while handling this situation. For children each and every action by their parents matters because they see the world in them.

Some More Options Are Available At Lyfsmile

✔ Accessible Online Support: Users can book consultations remotely, allowing ease of access regardless of location.
✔ Wide Range of Services: From child counseling to couples therapy, Lyfsmile covers multiple mental health needs.
✔ Multicultural Competence: Therapists understand and respect cultural differences, which is important for global or diaspora clients.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why does my child refuse to go to school suddenly?

There can be various reasons for refusing to go school such as fear of teachers, bullying, stress and separation anxiety. This can be a little difficult for parents to figure out everything perfectly. You can journal any noticeable behaviour and changes in your child's anxiety for ensuring health and safety. Sometimes due to both parents working, not having enough time and patience then you can go for consultation from our child-care clinic.

Is avoiding school a sign of anxiety or something else?

Yes, this might be indicating the reason for insomnia,depression and fatigue like health issues. Which also can impact their daily life functioning.

How can parents help children who are scared of school?

Try to ask them reasons and be firm but lovingly while handling this situation. As concerned parents, be patient, empathetic and understanding. If they are scared to go out and engage in group activities then you should immediately consult a doctor or therapist.

Can therapy help a child who avoids social situations?

Yes, a special exposure therapy is designed for children facing fear or anxiety in social situations.

What triggers school avoidance in children?

In kids this issue is common and temporary, they can overcome it by controlling their fears and emotional distress. Usually, for children this  CBT therapy is recommended.

Should I force my child to attend school if they are scared?

No, this would intensify their emotional distressed situation and lead to dire consequences such as depression, narcissistic attitude and somatic symptoms. 

How do I know if my child’s fear of school is serious?

This can be stemming from serious causes that should not be ignored. Parents should     not assume this as their ‘drama’, ‘attention seeking’ and ‘laziness’. Else, they will feel misunderstood and intensify their actions.

Can school avoidance affect my child’s learning and confidence?

School plays a vital role in a child’s holistic development by socializing, exposing and fostering creativity as well as sensitivity in them. School fear is common and temporary for many children. With love, patience and consistent support as parents help their child to overcome their fear of school, emotional distress, issues related to school and anxiety. If they are scared to go out and engage in group activities then you should immediately consult a doctor or therapist. 

Are there exercises or strategies to reduce school anxiety?

They should practice healthy exercises under pressure or stress and while feeling anxious like slow-breathing, meditation and communicating etc. Your child needs  child counseling for school stress and after assessment may be recommended  school anxiety therapy.

When should parents seek professional help for school refusal?

If your child is not able to express properly and you feel like he/she might be hiding something. Understanding and facing some  helping problems in a positive manner feels impossible for them. Then it is advisable to immediately consult and feel free to take school anxiety  therapy sessions from our experts. Because this may lead to serious problems in making relations, handling pressure and mental disorders like depression.