The term itself sounds very scary, indeed! Abuse is not something that is limited to physical abuse.It can be verbal or emotional too. Abuse is something that arrives slowly but it has the power to corrode the Abusive Relationships completely. It is not something that one can notice or observe in the very first meeting, but it is something that leaves a larger impact.
- Can little fights be termed as abuse?
- Can arguments that partner have termed as abuse?
- Abuse is a short term or does it have a larger span?
All these questions arise when we think of abuse in a relationship.
- Abuse doesn’t stand for the usual fights/disputes that normal couples have.
- Abuse doesn’t stand for the mood swings that individuals have and the impacts that they reflect.
- Abuse is not something that includes differences in opinions.
If not this then—
What is abuse?
Abuse,this word can not be framed into a perfect definition. When someone gets abused then the feelings that Abusive they go through can’t be easily described. Abuse is not just a word. It’s a feeling filled with endless thoughts that include lower self-esteem, lack of individuality, lack of security, lack of support, and most important loss of love for your own self!
Being abused even for a shorter time span can leave unforgettable scars and ‘n’ a number of nightmares.
Relationship and Abuse
These two terms should not fit together. But sadly Abusive relationship is a thing which most people suffer from. Abuse is not limited to Physical violence. It covers the vast area of emotional, verbal and psychological abuse. IPV i.e Intimate partner violence is considered a violation of fundamental human rights. Recent surveys, done by various esteemed institutions have proven, that emotional abuse is as much as devastating, as physical abuse can. Being abusive is a decision that some individuals take for the sake of dominance over their partners.
Being abusive–a choice or compulsion?
Many individuals grow up in a background where they witnessed abuse and it left a long-lasting impact on them.Being a victim to bully, doubled the number of bullies likewise that being a mere observer can sometimes be one of the reasons why people choose to abuse.
People learn through various mediums nowadays, negative influences are not that difficult to leave an imprint on the minds of observers.
When people see how the victim of abuse is showing helplessness, then they seek to get that dominant power.
Being abusive is definitely a choice.
Because by being abusive,the abuser seeks the feeling of dominance and control over the lives of their partner.Some sort of insecurities that people fail to deal with themselves leads to using abuse as their weapon. Being abusive is a choice that needs to be changed.
The forerunners of an abusive relationship
- Your needs and feelings are not getting enough value.
- Lots of inputs but not getting desired outputs.
- Your insecurities are treated as jokes.
- You are observing repeated use of sentences that are not likeable.
- The feeling of being gaslighted or manipulated.
- Threats are now common.
- You are observing short-term episodes of your partner being oppressive and aggressive.
- You have started to feel that–this ain’t the thing you want.
ABUSE-Physical, emotional or psychological.
(Signs that tell, it is an abusive relationship!)
Few of the symptoms of this–
- Violently hitting
- Pointing fingers while arguments
- Abuse by words
- Persuasive behaviour
- Forceful and hurtful holding while arguments
- Lack of respect
- Threats of leaving
- Hateful comments
- Causing feeling of inferiority
- Repeated tantrums
It is better to shout for help than to tolerate it in peace!
Reasons why you’re accepting abuse….
- You are afraid of being isolated
- You are afraid of the outcomes
- Your emotions are overruling you
- You are finding it difficult to distinguish between abuse and normal fights
- You’re forgetting YOU.
Impacts that abuse can leave
- Low self worth.
- Signs of depression,anxiety.
- Physical abuse can lead to PTSD i.e Post traumatic stress disorder.
- Sense of alienation.
- Physiological impacts.
- The endless cycle of thoughts in which one feels trapped.
- Lack of will to live along with suicidal thoughts.
Adapt to let it go,we know you can.
When you feel yourself stuck in such a solution then act accordingly. Emotions do play a very vital role in our life circumstances but we should be wise enough to control them and as well as we should learn to control ourselves. One should know when to stop and when to say no. We as human beings are afraid of changes. But we should never forget that changes are inevitable. Just because of this fear of change we sometimes go through the stuff that we are not worth dealing with Abuse is something that is not worth tolerating.
Who can help?
- A trustworthy person,whom you find reliable enough.
- Reach out to the counsellor and let them guide you in dealing with your emotions and their oscillation.Our own emotions need a lot of work to be done in these kinds of situations and a mental health professional will be able to help you in this.
- Include your family members/friends and openly share with them.Let them know how you are feeling and what you are going through.
- Take legal advice,whenever necessary.
- Take help from the local administration.
It’s you versus you.
We know it takes courage and strength to get out of an Abusive relationship but we also know that the inner mental blocks inside our heads are something that stops us from taking a bigger step.
- Don’t let your blocks win!
- Don’t let your lower self win!
After considering all these things and by evaluating that whether you are being abused or someone you know is being abused by their partner.You should reach out to your loved ones in that case and let them know that they are not alone,let them know that they can fight and survive the outcomes after releasing themselves out from a abusive relationship.
If you as a reader,is a victim of abuse then here are few lines for you by me
You have come so far.
For whom you are not even trying?
There’s a life waiting for you, outside all of your crying.
No matter where you are, who you are.
A life filled with peace and dignity is now
Let go off
Whatever is holding you back.
You deserve everything,
Not this wreck!!