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"Sorry Papa, I Tried 50 Times": Kanpur BTech Topper Dies by Suicide
suicide-self-harm-casesJul 20, 2026|6 min read|Beauty Kumari

"Sorry Papa, I Tried 50 Times": Kanpur BTech Topper Dies by Suicide What Happened? 

Kanpur, UP | July 20, 2026 

 A 23 year old BTech gold medallist from Kanpur allegedly died by suicide, leaving behind a heartbreaking handwritten note addressed to his father. The incident has drawn attention to the silent emotional struggles that many people experience behind closed doors, even when they appear successful, talented, and accomplished from the outside.

Anand Kumar was known for his academic achievements and dedication. However, his tragic death serves as a reminder that success, degrees, and recognition do not always reveal what a person may be going through internally. Many individuals silently struggle with emotional pain, self doubt, feelings of guilt, and the fear of disappointing their loved ones without ever expressing how they truly feel.

While the investigation into the incident is ongoing, the case has also started a broader conversation about the importance of emotional well being, open communication, and creating safe spaces where people feel comfortable asking for help before their struggles become overwhelming.

Who Was Anand Kumar?

Anand Kumar was a BTech Electrical Engineering graduate from Pranveer Singh Institute of Technology (PSIT), Kanpur.

According to reports, Anand was among the top-performing students of his batch. He topped his BTech programme in 2024 and was reportedly awarded a gold medal for his outstanding academic performance.

His achievements reflected years of dedication, intelligence, and hard work. However, reports suggest that behind these accomplishments, Anand was going through a difficult emotional phase while trying to build his future.

What Happened in Kanpur and What Did Anand Kumar's Suicide Note Reveal?

According to reports, Anand Kumar was found dead at his residence in the Gujaini area of Govind Nagar, Kanpur.

Police reached the location after concerns were raised and recovered his body along with a handwritten note. The body was sent for post-mortem examination, and authorities are investigating the circumstances surrounding the incident.

The handwritten note reportedly addressed his father and expressed the emotional pain he was experiencing during a difficult period of his life.

The note reportedly stated:

“Sorry Papa, I tried nearly 50 times to get a government job, but I couldn’t succeed. Please forgive me.”

The message reflected feelings of disappointment, emotional exhaustion, and distress that Anand was reportedly experiencing.

Experts often explain that when people go through prolonged emotional struggles, they may begin feeling overwhelmed by guilt, helplessness, or the fear of letting their loved ones down. This is why recognising emotional distress early and offering timely support is so important.

Behind Every Smile, There Can Be an Untold Struggle

Can someone who appears successful from the outside still be fighting an internal emotional battle?

The answer is yes.

Emotional struggles are not always visible. A person can be talented, hardworking, and academically successful while silently dealing with feelings that others may never notice.

Many people experience:

  • Constant self doubt

  • Fear of disappointing loved ones

  • Feelings of guilt or failure

  • Emotional exhaustion

  • Difficulty expressing their emotions

  • Feeling alone despite being surrounded by people

These struggles often remain hidden because many individuals fear judgment or believe they must deal with everything on their own.

Why Many People Choose Silence Instead of Sharing Their Pain

One of the biggest challenges is that emotional struggles are often invisible.

Many people avoid talking about what they are going through because they believe:

  • "Nobody will understand me."

  • "Talking about my problems will make me look weak."

  • "I don't want to become a burden on my family."

  • "I should be able to handle this myself."

Over time, carrying these feelings alone can make emotional distress even more difficult to cope with.

Creating an environment where people feel safe, heard, and supported can encourage them to speak before their struggles become overwhelming.

Small Changes That May Show Someone Is Not Doing Well

Not everyone says they are struggling.

Sometimes, emotional distress is reflected through small but noticeable changes in behaviour, such as:

  • Becoming unusually quiet or withdrawn

  • Losing interest in activities they once enjoyed

  • Avoiding conversations with family and friends

  • Feeling hopeless about the future

  • Believing they are a burden on others

  • Significant changes in sleep or daily routine

Recognising these signs with empathy rather than judgment can encourage someone to seek support.

A Reminder to Look Beyond Success and Achievements

Anand Kumar's story reminds us that achievements do not always show what someone is experiencing internally.

Instead of only asking:

"What have you achieved?"

we should also ask:

"How are you really feeling?"

A person's marks, degree, job, or achievements are only one part of their life. Their emotional well-being is equally important.

Simple acts of kindness, regular checkins, and supportive conversations can sometimes make a meaningful difference in someone's life.

A Conversation We All Need to Have

The tragic death of Anand Kumar is a reminder that emotional struggles can affect anyone, regardless of their achievements or background.

Building a culture where people feel comfortable talking about their emotions without fear of judgment is just as important as celebrating their successes.

Listening with empathy, staying connected, and encouraging people to seek support when they need it can help ensure that no one feels they have to face difficult moments alone.

Disclaimer: This article is based on publicly available reports and statements released by authorities at the time of writing. The investigation into the incident is ongoing, and additional information may emerge as it progresses. The purpose of this article is to raise awareness about emotional well-being, encourage compassionate conversations, and promote the importance of seeking support during difficult times. It is not intended to speculate about or draw conclusions regarding the individual's personal experiences beyond the reported facts.

If you or someone you know is feeling overwhelmed, hopeless, or having thoughts of self harm, please reach out to a trusted family member, friend, or a qualified mental health professional. Seeking support is a sign of strength, and help is available.

FAQs

Who was Anand Kumar from Kanpur?

Anand Kumar was a BTech Electrical Engineering graduate from PSIT Kanpur who topped his programme in 2024 and reportedly received a gold medal for his academic performance.

What was written in Anand Kumar's note?

Police reportedly recovered a handwritten note in which Anand wrote:

“Sorry Papa, I tried nearly 50 times to get a government job, but I couldn't succeed. Please forgive me.”

What does this incident teach us?

The incident reminds us that emotional struggles are not always visible. It highlights the importance of checking in on loved ones, encouraging open conversations, and creating supportive environments where people feel comfortable asking for help.

How can we support someone who may be struggling?

Listening without judgment, checking in regularly, encouraging open conversations, and helping someone connect with professional support can make a meaningful difference.

 

Need professional help?

Feeling suicidal or in crisis? Contact a helpline or emergency service immediately.

1. Vandrevala Foundation Helpline:
+91 9999666555 (24x7)

2. Sanjivini (Delhi-based):
011-40769002 (10 am - 5:30 pm)

3. Sneha Foundation (Chennai-based):
044-24640050 (8 am - 10 pm)

4. National Mental Health Helpline: 1800-599-0019

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